you need to understand the importance of the idea of wandering. we all have a desire to wander within us, but sometimes it is hard to find. other times our desire to wander is in a different shape or form, as wandering mentally and not physically. for me this desire to wander is strong. just to walk into a field and walk farther and farther does not scare my mind at all. but to others to even step foot in grass could cause an anxiety further than their mind can handle. for me that was true. the home was my safe place. i could never be hurt or fall ill if i was safe inside of my home. now the stage has flipped and the desire to stay at home is no more.

you need to let your mind wander also. wander far from reality because the imagination creates amazing things and you can go far with what your brain does. understand that if you are sidetracked, sometimes those sidetracks can get you where you want to be but also could cause you to lose what you worked hard for. things have ups and downs either way. you just have to find the right path to take.

the mind can cause harm to itself if it goes too far. far beyond the good it has. going father than this point can cause a person to turn sides. to become someone who acts out in violence or someone whos attitude becomes horrible. do not dare wander into the depths of the darkness of your mind. your light can turn black very quickly if you go there. so for my sake, do not wander into that darkness.

wander in the light. metaphorically [and literally] but, either way the outcome of your journey will be wonderful.

now go. – e.a






like my
everything i do is a
blank space in

in the end all of these
everything i do does
not matter to
the world or
anyone else out there who
might think as i do.

in the end the
blank words stay
hidden from the world and
i sit here and
think why
do i matter if

my words are just blank spaces – e.a


take it how you see it
fake your emotions so you can feel it
say a word and don’t mean it 
don’t break your walls unless it’s worth it
don’t change unless he sees it. 

don’t just change for someone.  
don’t break your walls
say what you mean. 
don’t fake emotions 
don’t read from the outside because you
don’t judge a book by its cover 
covers don’t matter 

pretty hair or pretty face. don’t give a crap about it. love someone for their soul. the way they look at you. the way they treat you and respect you. look at their heart. how big or small it is. how big of a liar they are or do they tell the truth. how they act. how they walk. talk. move. your frame is just a frame. crack the shell and look at what is inside. beauty can be seen or not. but until you don’t give a crap about their frame

the frame only matters to you

and you let the picture burn. – e.a

unnamed vol. 1

child proof the kid
doesnt work

world proof the child 
doesnt work either

we are all not always innocent
innocence is lost 

so do not try to keep us
away from the world
the world finds us
and our minds become fire 

let us go
let us realize that
loss is a part of realizing what
life consists of how
everyone dies in the end
loss is life and
we all are lost. – e.a


he told me a story of a time colder than now
a time of when happiness was all that happened
a time when jesus was born
but that is not how the story goes.

he told me a time
of his father drunk and secretive
of his mother worried sick
of his mind

he told me of his mind
his thoughts on actions committed
by those insane
those who suffer
of fathers drunk and secretive.

he told me of the way
he thought about it
he needed pills and
people to tell him
he was worth something
but he
should have already known
he was worth the world.

he told me of a time when
depression was his focus
his mind unsteady and
unstable and
array of what was realistic and
how he felt the slightest need to
leave this earth

i told him of a strong man
who means everything to
those people around him and
how he is loved by
jesus and us

i told him of a smart boy who
is not his father who
is not selfish and
has a big heart and a big mind
a big mind that doesn’t think those thoughts

a handsome young man
was no mistake
never a mistake because
God creates who
God creates and
you are meant to be
placed on this earth with
those who are not as good as you are
not as bright and all you are.

realize this.

know you are loved.
loved beyond the mountains. beyond the seas. beyond the world because
you are an image of God

a beautiful image painted with
blue colors

burn those thoughts – e.a